I had a child at 40. I know — people said I was lucky. I said it was science, good timing, and frankly, yes, a lot of luck. For two years while working inside one of the best fertility clinics in the UK, with access to every scan, every blood test, every treatment available, I watched as my period arrived month after month and I fell apart each time.
I want to tell you this story honestly. Not as a fertility specialist. Not as a success story gift-wrapped with a bow. As a woman who knows exactly what it feels like to sit in the waiting room on both sides of the desk — and who spent two years researching everything science had to offer before finally understanding what my body needed.
If you are over 40 and trying to conceive — or even thinking about it — this article is for you. Read it. Share it. And please, whatever you do: don't wait.
The Part Nobody Talks About
When you work in fertility, you know the statistics. You know that egg quality and quantity decline with age. You know that the probability of natural conception drops meaningfully after 35 and more steeply after 38. You know all of this — and you think, somehow, that knowing it will make it easier.
It doesn't.
Nothing prepares you for the consuming nature of trying to conceive when it isn't working. Every month becomes a cycle of hope and devastation. You speak in a language nobody outside this world speaks — luteal phases, follicle counts, trigger shots, progesterone levels, two week waits. You time everything around ovulation. Your relationship becomes scheduled. Your body starts to feel like a project you are failing at.
When your period arrives it is not just disappointment. It is grief. Real, physical grief that arrives on a schedule and leaves as soon as the next cycle begins and hope stupidly, stubbornly restarts.
I had daily ultrasound scans. I had every blood test available. I had access to full andrology services for my partner. I had immunotherapy. I had the conversations with the consultants I worked alongside. I had every advantage a woman in this situation could possibly have — and I still spent two years not getting pregnant.
What I also had, eventually, was time to research everything the science said about what I could actually do to optimise my body. And that is what I want to share with you.
The Science of Egg Quality After 40 — And Why It Matters More Than Anything
Here is the honest biological reality. The number of eggs you have declines from birth. But what changes most dramatically after 40 is not just quantity — it is quality. Specifically, the energy-generating capacity of the mitochondria inside each egg cell.
An egg needs enormous amounts of energy to complete the complex process of meiosis — the cell division that happens during fertilisation and early embryo development. That energy comes from mitochondria. As we age, mitochondrial function in oocytes declines, ATP production decreases, and the risk of chromosomal errors during division increases. This is the primary biological explanation for why miscarriage rates increase and IVF success rates decrease with age.
The good news — and there genuinely is good news — is that mitochondrial function is not entirely fixed. Several nutrients play direct roles in mitochondrial energy production. And this is where the supplement research becomes genuinely interesting.
Egg quality is primarily determined by mitochondrial function — the energy production capacity inside each oocyte. After 40, mitochondrial efficiency declines, increasing the risk of chromosomal abnormalities during cell division. This is the key biological mechanism behind age-related fertility decline.
Supplementation targeting mitochondrial support has meaningful evidence in this context. The 90-day timeline matters: eggs take approximately three months to mature through their final development stages, meaning supplementation started today affects egg quality in three months — not next week.
This is my personal experience of what helped me. It is not medical advice. Please consult your own clinician before starting any supplementation programme.
What I Took — The Exact Supplements, Doses and Brands
I want to be specific here because vague supplement advice is useless. I researched every one of these. I checked the clinical trials. I chose these brands for a reason. This is exactly what I took and why.
The 90-Day Rule — Why Timing Matters More Than You Think
Eggs take approximately 90 days to mature through their final development stages — a process called folliculogenesis. The nutritional environment your eggs mature in during those 90 days directly influences their quality when they are finally released.
This means that the supplements you start today will affect the eggs you ovulate in three months. Not next month. Three months. Starting CoQ10 the week before your IVF retrieval is not meaningless — but it is dramatically less effective than starting it three months earlier.
If you are over 40 and thinking about trying to conceive — even just thinking about it — start now. The 90 days are running regardless of when you decide.
Lifestyle — What Else Actually Moves the Needle
Technology — How to Actually Know What Your Body Is Doing
Tracking your cycle properly transforms trying to conceive from guesswork into informed decision-making. These are the tools I used and rate:
Tracks resting heart rate, heart rate variability, temperature, and sleep quality — all of which shift measurably across your cycle. The temperature data is particularly useful for confirming ovulation has occurred. It won't predict your fertile window as precisely as dedicated ovulation monitors, but the whole-body health data is genuinely valuable. View Oura Ring →
The only FDA-cleared app-based fertility monitor. Uses basal body temperature data to identify your fertile window with meaningful accuracy. Clinically validated — this is not a generic period-tracker. I didn't use this myself and haven't assessed it fully yet.
Ovulation predictor kits detect the luteinising hormone surge that triggers ovulation 24–36 hours later. Use digital versions for clarity or blood tests for accuracy.
Anti-Müllerian Hormone testing gives you an indication of your ovarian reserve. It won't tell you about quality, and a lower AMH does not mean conception is impossible. But it gives you information to make decisions with.
When Optimising Your Body Is Not Enough
I want to say this clearly, because I think this is where a lot of women lose precious time.
Supplements, lifestyle, tracking — all of these things matter. I genuinely believe they helped me. But they cannot fix a structural problem. They cannot reverse a blocked tube. They cannot compensate for significantly diminished ovarian reserve. They cannot address implantation failure caused by an immunological issue. These things require a doctor.
If you have been trying for six months and you are over 40 — please see a fertility specialist now. Not in another three months. Not after you have tried one more thing. Now. Time is the one resource you cannot get back, and NZ fertility specialists are skilled and accessible.
What a consultation gives you that no supplement can: an antral follicle count (how many follicles are developing this cycle), your AMH level, a hysterosalpingogram to check your tubes are open, your partner's semen analysis, and an honest conversation about your options.
Those options might include ovulation induction — using medication to encourage or regulate ovulation. They might include IUI — intrauterine insemination. They might include IVF with your own eggs, or donor eggs if your reserve is very low. There is no shame in any of these pathways. Every one of them has brought families into being that wouldn't otherwise exist.
If you are over 40 and trying to conceive — don't optimise for six months and then see a doctor. See a doctor now, and optimise while you wait for your appointment. Do both simultaneously. Time is the one thing you cannot supplement your way back to.
— Sarah, VelaOra
Where to Go in New Zealand
These are NZ's three main specialist fertility clinics. All offer both publicly-funded and private pathways. A referral from your GP gets you into the public system — but the wait can be long. A private first consultation typically costs $250–$400 and gets you answers and a plan within weeks, not months.
New Zealand's largest fertility provider, founded in 1987 by the pioneers who brought IVF to NZ. Six permanent clinics nationwide — Auckland, Hamilton, Tauranga, Rotorua, Wellington, Christchurch — plus nine satellite clinics. Both publicly-funded and private treatment. Free 15-minute phone consultation with a nurse available.
Part of Te Toka Tumai Auckland (Auckland City Hospital). One of NZ's longest-running IVF programmes — over 35 years of helping whānau. Integrated with Auckland's general gynaecology and maternity services. Both publicly-funded and private pathways. Evidence-based practice updated with current research.
Auckland-based specialist fertility clinic at Newmarket, with consultations available in Tauranga and Whangārei. Led by Medical Director Dr Devashana Gupta. 95% of clients would recommend to others. Full range of treatments: IVF, IUI, egg freezing, genetic screening, donor services, LGBTQ+ pathways. Free 15-minute phone consultation for new clients.
The Part That Kept Me Going
The two years I spent trying for my child were two of the hardest of my life. The consuming, cyclical, relentless nature of fertility treatment when it isn't working is something only people who have been through it truly understand.
What kept me going was the same thing that got me through everything else. Information. Understanding the biology. Knowing what I could actually influence and making peace with what I couldn't. Finding my people — the women who understood the language and didn't need me to explain what a two-week wait feels like.
I optimised my body as thoroughly as I knew how. I took the supplements. I made the lifestyle changes. I had the consultations. I followed the medical guidance. And eventually — it worked.
I want that for you too. Whatever that looks like for you — a natural conception, ovulation induction, IUI, IVF, donor eggs, a path you haven't even considered yet. Whatever gets you there.
But please — don't wait. Start the supplements today. Book the consultation this week. Your 90 days are already running.
You deserve to be on the other side of this.
Start today. See your doctor this week. And know that the women in this community are behind you every step of the way.
Join the VelaOra Community →Share your story with us — we're listening.
Important: This article reflects my personal experience and my own research into the available evidence. It is not medical advice and should not replace a consultation with a qualified fertility specialist. Fertility treatment is highly individual — what worked for me may not be right for you. If you are struggling to conceive, please see a healthcare professional. Affiliate links above — VelaOra earns a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I used myself. Live healthy. Love lots. 🌿
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Join VelaOra Free →Sarah writes under a pseudonym, which gives her the freedom to say exactly what she thinks — no institutional filters, no conflicts of interest. She is a practising scientist with 25 years in women's health.